Saturday, February 10, 2007
I dont know whether i should be borned in this world .I pity my family ,my friends including him .
Cause i suck ,i totally cannot do a lot of things .
Dancing ,pretty ,hairless .
When will i ever get them done with ?
Never right ,because im just so selfish .
I can never even think positive .
I feel damn lost ,
i feel smoking thousands of cigarettes ,drinking thousand of beer .
The worse i feel like dying .
When will all this stop ,it is killing me .
If i have a damn penknife now i'll just fucking cut off my whole skin .
Today i went malaysia ,i bought many stuff .
It was just a sudden decision ,
cause he wanted to go .
We bought many things ,but my heart wasnt really there .
It was rather on someone else .
This is wrong ,but i really had no idea why .
And now the night has come ,he went home after drinking .
We quarrelled ,this relationship is getting abit long .
I feel like suggesting for a break ,but at the same time i cannot let go .
Who the fuck will let their stead drink ?
Honestly i felt like drinking too ,badly .
So wanna forget someone ,which i shouldnt had .
Everything has it consequences ,somehow i always blame God for being unfair to me .
Maybe he never once ,because i always felt like a shit .
My dairy was always felt with some poka dots of certain part of some pages ,
cause God didnt like me too much .
Maybe i was just not his children .
School is also the same .
She didnt change ,our conversation was less than 10 sentences a day .
Because i was just not her beloved .
ACCEPTANCE 1:18 AM
